17 April 2006

Keep It In Your Pants

Face it soldiers, Doesn’t your protection deserve protection?

Big date tonight. You’ve got the snappy suit, you’ve got the shiny shoes, you’ve got your rap down. Chances of scoring: excellent.

So…where do you put the condom?

You could stick it in your wallet, but that telltale O ring stands for oversexed and desperate. You could shove it in a pocket, but nothing kills the mood like pulling out a wad of cash to pay for dinner and having everybody see what you’re planning for dessert. Or you could carry one of these discreet condom caddies, specially designed jimmy hat carrying cases. Now when you go looking for love, you’ll always know you’ve got a glove.

The Retro Condom Case looks like a cigarette case, but don’t try to smoke its contents, I’ve been told that this makes the condom somewhat less effective. Capacity: 3 ($22-$30; www.condomania.com)

Want to create a dangerous allure? The Protecto Pager will make her suspect you’re a drug dealer. Capacity: 3 ($10; 800-9condom)

“This is beautiful. What is this, velvet?” The “velvet pouch” is a substantial bag rather than a case. Good for week long camping trips. Capacity: 1–2 dozen ($2.50; www.condomsexpress.com or 800-57-condom)

The Black Leather Unisex looks like a miniature wallet, so try to avoid stuffing it with miniature convenience store receipts. Capacity: 1–2 ($15; www.codomcases.com)


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