27 March 2006

I Got a Shellacking

How to explain getting your ass handed to you.

1. Open a can of whup ass: I wised off to Wallace one time too many, and he opened a can of whup ass on me.

2. Ho check: I let my subscription to Hustler run out, and the staff came to my office and ho checked me. But you know what? I sorta liked it.

3. Take out back: Bruno did not appreciate the bottle of Massengill I sent to his mom, so he took me out back.

4. Give the business: Frankie and his boys gave me the business just because his son happens to look like me.

5. Rodney King: So I’m peeking into the changing room at Victoria’s Secret, and four rent a cops rush in and Rodney King me.

6. Paint the ground red: I told James I saw his sister on farmsex.com, and then I promptly painted the ground red.

7. Beat like a red headed stepchild: I played that Ricky Martin CD at the party, and the crowd beat me like a red headed stepchild.

8. Swallow teeth: My wife caught me pleasuring myself over pictures of her younger sister, and the next thing I knew I was swallowing teeth.


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