20 March 2006

GET OVER THE HUMP

Some people think about sex even more than you do.

Dr. Patrick Carnes, author of Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, says that as many as 8 percent of American men (but only 3 percent of women) are addicted to sex. Even Mick Jagger’s a victim, the sagging singer sought treatment for sex addiction after reportedly impregnating a Brazilian lingerie model. To determine if you too are hooked, take our quiz.

Is your workday occasionally interrupted by thoughts of sex?

Are your sexual thoughts sometimes interrupted by work?

Do you ever hump your dog’s leg?

Do you like to hang out at the fish market?

Have you ever swum 300 miles upstream to have sex and then die?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have a serious sex addiction. But the cure might be worse, abstinence coupled with a 12-step program. That means sitting in a church basement listening to some woman tell you about all the depraved, anonymous sexual encounters she craves. And you can’t call her. Heroin junkies have it easy.

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