11 February 2006

Annul Your Marriage

You awake hung over, covered in rice, and…Hey, who are you?

It seemed like a good idea. Now it’s the morning after and one thought is swirling through your mind like milk through a churn: My God, what have I done? First of all, don’t panic. If you can convince a judge to annul your marriage, legally the wedding never happened. No alimony or property division (in most cases), and no lawyers’ fees, just a road map back to bachelorhood. But act fast! The longer you wait, the greater the odds you’ll be directed to divorce court. Grounds for annulment vary from state to state, but convincing the judge of one of the following scenarios may help you dodge the knot.

When you said “I do,” it was the Schlitz talking. Dennis Rodman annuled his marriage to Carmen Electra by claiming he was drunk and mentally unbalanced (not exactly a stretch).

You were escorted to the altar by the bride’s shotgun toting father. Being forced to choose between a dirt nap and the conjugal bed is a get out of marriage free card, if you’re alive to use it.

She played you for a sucker. If the bride covered up a prior marriage, a prison stay, or a penis, you can claim she got your consent through fraud.

Delaware provides the best way to weasel out. “The court shall enter a decree of annulment when……one or both parties entered into the marriage as a jest or dare.” So if your feet are a little cold, we suggest you tie the knot in the Blue Hen State. In fact, we dare you.

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