19 January 2006

Jailhouse Goods


Once you find the guy on the inside who can "get stuff," it’s a good idea to know what it’ll cost ya.

I asked a former medic from the 28th CSH at Ft.Bragg, currently being inconvenienced at Ft. Levenworth for continuously pissing hot, for the going rates of a variety of goods and services in the only currency that means anything in the big house, cigarettes.

WHAT THE GOODS COST:
Tin of mackerel = 1/2 pack
Bag of rootbeer barrel candies = 1 PACK
Laundry, washed and folded by fellow inmate = 1 1/2 PACK
Copy of Playboy = 2 PACKS
Pint of homeade hooch = 3 packs
Small bag of marijuana = 4 PACKS
Lap dance by fellow inmate = 8 PACKS
Oral sex from fellow inmate = 9 PACKS
Small Boy Toy tattoo = 12 PACKS
Being dragged around by a leash = Priceless

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