31 December 2005

GOODBYE 2005, HELLO 2006!!!



Today the family and I are going out to the beach and I am going to attempt surfing for the first time. It should be an experience. Found out some good news yesterday, that our furniture will finally be here January 4. We've only been without it since October 13. It got lost somewhere between here and Bragg. Well it's found, hopefully its a sign of a comming good year.

After the beach we are going to go to a friends house, blow off some fireworks, have some cocktails, some good food and bring this year to an end.

Hope everyone has a great New Year and that all your hopes and dreams come true!

30 December 2005

Surf's Up Dude


The Honolulu Advertiser front page stated in the paper this morning that, surfers yesterday made the most of the huge waves rolling in off Sunset Beach on O'ahu’s North Shore. Surf topped out at about 15 feet yesterday, and even bigger waves are expected today — in the 15- to 25-foot range, with light wind and clean conditions.

29 December 2005

TOP 10 HOT WOMEN OF 2005

10. It might be hard to think of Elisha as sexy when she's being pursued by killers. Okay, that's not hard. But most of her recent film roles have changed her image as a scrumptious little sexpot of desire. She not only wears sexy bikini underwear and has a candle fetish, she also admits that she likes to make the first move on guys. Wow, no wonder every men's magazine is ranking her as one of the sexiest women on the planet.


9. Fergie has an attitude that is this in your face, come-hither mindset that is sexy as hell. Also, men aren't the only ones who find her appealing, a lot of the groupies that attend Black Eye Peas concerts are lesbians hoping to get lucky with Fergie. What I wouldn't give for a glimpse of that. I really need to go to confession!


8. Uma Thurman's success can be linked to her unique looks, but so can most of Hollywood's leading actresses. Uma is one of the sexiest women in the world, though it is a gentle quiet sexy, the kind James Bond would love.


7. I never thought "sexy" was an appropriate word for Kate Beckinsale; maybe it's because her earlier roles made her look more graceful than ravishing. But ever since I laid eyes on her in 2003's Underworld, I couldn't get over the sight of Kate in black latex. It has been all uphill since then: she looked delicious in 2004's Van Helsing and successfully channeled sexpot Ava Gardner in 2004's The Aviator.


6. In this age of instant information, it's become standard knowledge that one way to measure the popularity of a celebrity is to see how often they are searched on the Web. Here's some information: she's one of the most searched. Any wonder why? Jessica Alba is smokin'. Jessica has the body, booty and beauty to makes me want to be her slave.


5. While she's played seductresses and appeared nude in some of her movies, I can't say that Nicole is an overly sexual person. But that hasn't stopped a number of men's magazines from ranking Nicole among the sexiest and most intriguing stars in history. Her penetrating gaze is especially sexy... and for me her eyebrows are perfectly plucked!


4. Eva had me with one gaze from her eyes and a smile from her lips. It doesn't help that her legs are to die for, and that she has a body that makes her role as a former model believable (okay, except for her 5'3" frame). Her openness about her sexuality only makes her that much more desirable. In fact, I might have to wallpaper my whole place with Longoria's photos right about now, but that might upset the mrs.


3. I'm no math whiz, but add up a British accent, bodacious body and angelic face, and you get one fine woman. This is certainly the case with Knightley, whose corset-wearing character in Pirates of the Caribbean was one of the highlights of summer 2003 and a leather clad bounty hunter in 2005 Domino. In fact, she's so fine, I want her to handcuff me.


2. The older Jessica gets, the sexier she becomes. Her early career in pop music when she had to compete against Britney and Christina has allowed her to develop provocative moves of which we have fond fantasies. Now that she's getting divorced, we all want her even more.


1. Most people would say that Angelina's lips make her sexy, but I think it's her eyes that sell her face. She has cat eyes that make us want to purr... And whether she's a blonde, a brunette or purple, Angelina always looks hot, even when she's not trying.

10 Reasons Not To Go To The Gym

1. 50 varieties of B.O.
2. Naked women…in the shower next door…that you can’t see.
3. Hairy guys with fake tans
4. Having to look at your sorry ass from every imaginable angle
5. Having to sit/lie in other people’s sweat.
6. Fat guys grunting
7. Muscleheads have horrible taste in music.
8. You say Snickers. They say Nature Bar.
9. Every guy wants to know what you’re benching.
10. Every woman sees what you’re benching.

from the 5/14 CAV Medical Troop
HEADHUNTERS

28 December 2005

Sanctity Of Marriage


I was at Fort DeRussy Beach with the wife and kids and while I was in the water relaxing I noticed all this scenery around me. It made me start thinking of what
Frank the Tank once said:

"I guess I, deep down, I'm feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean take yesterday, for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they're probably basic white cotten underpants. But I started thinking, well, maybe they're silk panties; maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know?"

Don't get me wrong I love my wife and kids greatly. My wife has taken my heart, just not my eyes!

26 December 2005

Woo Women in Foreign Lands


You’re Don Juan in the U.S., but step over the border and your perfect pickup line earns you a kick in the kishke. You need a crash course in the cultural nuances of courting.


London
Your chances 6/10
You thought you spoke the same language, but London girls aren’t easy—and an Austin Powers imitation won’t help you score.
How to say “You are beautiful”
You’re fit, luv.
Pickup line:
Fancy a coffee? Which, in England, is equivalent to “Wanna see my etchings?”
Never say Fancy a shag?
Over there, it’s about the same as slapping her ass and asking, “Wanna screw?”

Paris
Your chances 5/10
Parisians may detest Americans, but stick with it. Within 168 hours after you’ve met, 47 percent of jeune filles will do the deed (the global average is a paltry 23 percent).
“You are beautiful”
Tu est très belle [Too ay tray bell].
Pickup line:
Bonjour, mon petit chou [Bon zhure mon peteet shoe], which literally means “Hello, my little cabbage.”
Never say: Un croissant avec préservatif, s’il vous plaît [Oon qua-sahnt ah-veck pray-cer-vah-teef see voo play].
It sounds like a pastry and jam breakfast but means “I would like a croissant with condoms.”

Barcelona
Your chances 3/10
Spanish señoritas may dance hip-to-hip with you all night, but when it comes to follow-through, they give it up late (the average age is 18) and have the lowest infidelity rate (22 percent) in the world.
“You are beautiful” Tú eres muy bonita [Too airez mwee boneeta].
Pickup line: Vamos al huerto [Bahmos ahl wear-toe], which means “Let’s go to the fields.”
Never say Estoy embarazado [Es-toy embahr-asado].
You might think you just apologized for your bad Spanish, but you just told her that you’re pregnant.

Stockholm
Your chances 9/10
You have two advantages: Swedish girls hate Swedish guys (“They are so unromantic and boring,” a 19-year-old Swede tells me), and they live in the most sexually liberated country in Europe.
“You are beautiful”
Du ar vacker [Doo ahr vack-air].
Pickup line: Vil du se mina etsningar? [Vill doo se-uh meena et-singer?], aka “Do you want to see my carvings?”
Never say
Får jag köpa dig en drink? [For yag choppa deeg un drink?], which means “Can I buy you a drink?” It’s customary for women to buy their own and to see offers as improper come-ons.

Prague
Your chances 8/10
Few of them speak English as well as their Western European cousins, so they’re not above using you for a free English lesson.
“You are beautiful”
Jsi fakt krasna [Eesay fahkt krah-snah].
Pickup line: Mas telefon?
[Mosh telephone?] In most countries you’d ask for a girl’s number, but here first ask, “Do you have a telephone?” Fifty percent of Czechs don’t own one.
Never say Babuska [Baa-boo-shka].
It sounds sexy in Russia, but in Prague they’ll think you said babicka [baa-beach-ka], which means “grandmother.”

Tokyo
Your chances 8/10
After years of waiting, Japanese girls finally got the Pill in 1999 and are ready for love. They have also heard rumors about the home team versus the visitors, and they’re often willing to put the “size matters” theory to the test.
“You are beautiful”
Kimi wa kirei da [Kimmy wah keeree dah].
Pickup line:
Choto yasunde iku [Chohto yeah-soonday eekoo], which means “Let’s take a little break at the sex hotel.”
Never say: Kuchi kusai [Coo-chee coo-say] It unfortunately means “stinky mouth.”

Mexico City
Your chances 7/10
Accompany a señorita home in a cab. They’re notoriously unsafe there, so a ride will give you the perfect opportunity to show off your chivalrous side.
“You are beautiful”
Eres bella [Airez bay-ya].
Pickup line:
Qué tal, guapa?
[K tahl, gwhoppa?], which means “What’s up, pretty girl?”
Never say Quieres probar mi chili? [Key-eres pro-bar me chil-ay?]
An innocent enough dinner request (“Would you like to taste my chili pepper?”), but in slang it means “Do you wanna choke my chicken?”
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