20 December 2005

SOP for Walking With Women

When swinging Jane through the urban jungle, remember: City etiquette is about symbolic protection and possessiveness, according to Nancy Tuckerman, author of The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette.

At the Revolving Door
Don’t be polite: Jump ahead of her and keep that heavy door moving.

Getting in a Taxicab
Dive in first and slide across the seat. She’ll have less contact with all that taxi-seat scum (and avoid any unintentional flashing if she’s wearing a short skirt).

On the Sidewalk
Have her walk nearest the buildings—except at night, when dark alleys and doorways are more threatening than passing cars and gutter puddles.

On the Escalator
Symbolically, be there to catch her if she falls: Get behind her going up and in front of her going down.

On the Street
When strolling, always stay by her side (add hand- and waist-holding to taste). In a hurry or moving through crowds, though, walk before her, savagely clearing a path.


Blogger JACK ARMY said...

Doesn't everyone already know these? I reckon not if Nancy Tuckerman needed to put them in her book, eh?

Blogger RobC said...

Love the last one... when in a hurry... wakes up the savage in me!
All in all common sense... I also thought any fairly decent bloke knew them, my mum told them to me. :-)


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