11 December 2005

It's On The House


At a bar but out of cash? To squeeze ‘em for one more golden brewski, try:



The Bamboozle.
Take your empty beer bottle into the men’s room and fill ’er up with tepid water. Then, belly up to a hectic stretch of the bar and tell the ’keep he’s mistakenly given you a warm one. He’ll clutch the bottle, look puzzled, toss it, and fetch you another coldie. Maybe he’ll even apologize!

The Switcheroo.
Gravitate with your almost-empty toward a big, tipsy group ordering a monster round. Get in close and wait for their dozen cold ones to land on the counter, then “accidentally” pick up one of the new beverages instead of your backwash-y bottle.

The Butterfingers.
Pick a well-heeled patron, shadow him until he jogs your arm, and drop your near-empty beer. Nine times out of ten, the guy will buy you a new one—and if he doesn’t, the bartender will.

The Mourner.
Appear down in the dumps at a friendly tavern, and any self-respecting bartender will ask what’s wrong and pour a freebie. Go ahead, embellish: Losing a job or girlfriend merits a free draft by law in most states.

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