15 October 2005

I Should Really Get Around To Reporting My Wife Missing

Story By BSS

The Monday Tori disappeared, everything seemed normal—folded laundry in my drawers, clean dishes in the drying rack, and the living-room carpet freshly vacuumed. When dinnertime came and went, I began to wonder about her whereabouts, but it was only the next morning, roughly around breakfast, that I began to think something terrible might have happened.
I know from watching Law & Order that you're supposed to wait 72 hours before reporting a possible abduction, so when I got home from work Tuesday and there was no Tori, I assured myself she was just running late with some errand, and I tried to relax in front of the TV for a bit to take my mind off things. Well, I almost did too good a job, because the next thing I knew, I was at work at 0600 doing PT and screaming at my soldiers soldiers for not wiping there asses properly, and it was Thursday—or about 68 hours since the mysterious disappearance of my wife.
That afternoon, I had every intention of walking through that door, marching straight to the phone, calling the MPs, and telling them that, "My wife disappeared Monday evening, leaving the contents of her purse all about the driveway, and I have neither seen nor heard from her for 72 hours." But then the kids wanted their dinner, and before I knew it, another day had gone by and I hadn't filed that darned report.
Hey, it's not like Tori won't still be missing in the morning.
Anyway, on Friday, I meant to do that missing-persons report along with thawing out my chicken wings for me to eat while watching the ball games on Saturday, and I would have, but I didn't factor in all the miserable traffic. Geez, when are they finally going to finish the security gates on All America FWY? I mean, it's been over a year now! Do they even do anything out there, or are they just hanging out in hard hats?
I jotted down a reminder to myself on the fridge, where Tori used to make the grocery list. But did I ever look at it? No. I swear, it's like I need to make a list to remind myself to look at my list!
I had finally settled on taking care of this whole reporting-my-wife-missing thing on Saturday. I set the alarm for 0600 so I could get a jump start on the day, but I guess I must have hit the snooze button a few times, because when I finally rolled out of bed, it was nearly noon! And the afternoon wasn't any better. While rummaging through the closets trying to find a recent photo of Tori to bring to the MP station, I discovered the picture on the TV went. NO NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL!!! And that's not the type of thing you can just sit on.
So, there's another Saturday afternoon blown. Sadly, that happens all too often.
In a way, it's a good thing my wife's not around, because, boy, would I be hearing it right about now.
And I don't need anyone giving me a hard time about this. I get enough of that already. The second the kids come in from school, it's one demand after another. "Where's Mommy?" "I want Mommy!" "We're hungry!" "Please, Daddy, please! Call the police about Mommy!"
It's just been one of those weeks. Two of my best soldiers just left, so I've got to pick up there slack, and on top of all that, I've been handed the duty of being in charge of "fat boy" PT. Do I know anything about PT? No! Being fat? Yes!
God, if anything were to happen to her, I don't know what I'd do. This is just the type of thing she usually handles.


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